COLUMN: It’s been an eventful couple of weeks says The Ely Grumpster

Ely Grumpster

Ely Grumpster - Credit: Archant

• So as the Grumpster prepares to depart these shores, I would like to muse on what has been a pretty eventful couple of weeks.

• The “who would have thought it?” of the week - England’s World Cup performance. Yes, the semi was a step too far but an England team that played well, happy fans enjoying themselves and a generally warm fuzzy feeling associated with a good tournament? I will take that.

• The “is he for real?” of the week. President Donut Trump of course. Jets in with a thousand flunkies, insults our PM and our Queen, talks utter rot and spends half of his time here playing golf.

If my memory serves me right, diplomat protocol dictates that on a foreign visit, it is prescient on the visiting Head of State to avoid entering into the internal affairs of the host. Hmm.

I would say he speaks his mind, if I thought he had one. The man is beyond parody. Still, at least we had the Blimp. Every time I think of it, I burst out laughing.

• The “run that one past me again please?” of the week. The Director of our Banking [the clue is in the name] programme employing a flood re-insurance expert with 5 years PR experience to run a key workstream. Clearly the high ups are worried about somebody leaving the taps on in the men’s toilets. Industry experience is obviously no substitute for a management consultant in a sharp suit who can schmooze and generate shiny PowerPoint decks.

• The “not that old chestnut again!” of the week. The Eye newspaper reporting that DNA tests are to be performed on the skeletal remains found in the Tower, which will apparently establish or discount Richard III’s guilt once and for all. Well no it won’t and more fundamentally, they are not the Princes. That particular mystery will never be solved. Just drop it.

Most Read

• The “think we have been here before” of the week. A new train timetable that apparently will provide more peak time services for the train companies’ frazzled passengers. Believe it when I see it.

• The “I would rather saw my leg off than do that” of her week. The poor lady who will be giving the Grumpster’s feet a pre-holiday MOT. Not for the faint hearted. I hope her life insurance is up to date.