LETTER: Annoying delay in Ely bypass
I have stumbled upon the real reason for the annoying delay in getting the Ely bypass going.
My men in the field tell me that there is to be no bypass at all and we are being fobbed off while the scientists complete their studies into teleportation.
It seems that the days of “Beam me up Scotty” have no longer to be regarded as a joke but as an exciting hidden development currently under completion at Cambridge Science Park.
The whole thing will be controlled by a simple and inexpensive APP on our mobile phones which would entail the pressing of a button and saying “Beam me up Lucy” (our ertswhile MP) and, there you have it, you’re in Soham before you can blink.
There has to be some fine tuning since one test pilot finished up in Carlisle when he wanted to go to a funeral in Newmarket.
You may also want to watch:
Hope springs eternal.
- 1 New Google Search data reveals Ely is one of Britain’s most tired cities
- 2 High life ends for Bentley owning drug dealer
- 3 Ely Cathedral's Covid-19 vaccination centre application was turned down
- 4 Flooding highlights outline of English Civil War fort as rain fills moat
- 5 Number of fatal injuries caused on our roads ‘remains far too high’
- 6 Man who spent Christmas alone in intensive care proposes to girlfriend
- 7 County cops issue more than 60 Covid fines since beginning of 2021
- 8 Nobody home as police force entry after reports of drugs activity
- 9 Keep a birds-eye view on resident Peregrine falcons by watching webcam
- 10 Fifteen flood alerts in place amid 'stay indoors' warning