LETTER: Annoying delay in Ely bypass

I have stumbled upon the real reason for the annoying delay in getting the Ely bypass going.

My men in the field tell me that there is to be no bypass at all and we are being fobbed off while the scientists complete their studies into teleportation.

It seems that the days of “Beam me up Scotty” have no longer to be regarded as a joke but as an exciting hidden development currently under completion at Cambridge Science Park.

The whole thing will be controlled by a simple and inexpensive APP on our mobile phones which would entail the pressing of a button and saying “Beam me up Lucy” (our ertswhile MP) and, there you have it, you’re in Soham before you can blink.

There has to be some fine tuning since one test pilot finished up in Carlisle when he wanted to go to a funeral in Newmarket.

Hope springs eternal.

GRAHAM JONES

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