BIG DAY He’s finally done it! After a long and energetic run, actually a cycle ride, but who’s that bothered, of Soham Jnr has married his Nelly.

It all happened in Ely on Saturday between showers.

Jon looked happy and Nelly looked lovely and everyone had a great time in the Almonry and Mrs of Soham and I now have the best daughter-in-law we could wish for.

We all toasted their future happiness and complete strangers kissed and shook hands and the children were super.

SPLUTTER

Jake the spaniel, as I may have mentioned several times before, is quite partial to a walk now and again, about three times a day.

So he was quite perturbed to hear that the pollution levels on paths in some of our larger towns and cities are reaching danger levels.

He’s particularly concerned as he figures that a spaniel’s nose is closer to the ground and consequently more at the height of the polluting exhaust pipes and often gets even lower if an interesting aroma comes along. Apparently standing diesel-powered vehicles throw out dangerous levels of nitrogen dioxide.

Jake is a bit confused that traffic is deliberately made to stand still when it causes less harm when it is moving.

He particularly notes the chicane on Fordham Road which can cause tail-backs of a dozen or more vehicles during the morning school run.

Jake thinks that this is particularly worrying as there is almost always a line of St Andrew’s toddlers walking on the polluted paths. He reckons that the county council might even be able to save a life if it dug up the offending chicane.

THANK YOU

Thank you to the mindless idiots who thought it was a good idea to smash glass on the path near the seat opposite the cemetery gates.

Children, who are notorious for falling over, walk along this path regularly and really don’t need any help in getting cut knees. Dogs, who revel in walks, don’t really enjoy having cut paws, but we don’t think you care, anyway. Also thanks for helping me get two punctures in my scooter last week.

To lose your only means of independent transport through such stupidity is more than a little frustrating.

Thank you to the shopkeepers who sell glass containers to individuals who obviously have no brain function.

Thank you to ECDC for not replacing Mr Burgess after he retired. That gentleman cleaned up any mess immediately.

And a massive thank you to the guys at Olympic Tyres for twice getting me out of trouble with no fuss but great efficiency.

GONE

Yet another landmark of old Soham has disappeared. In years gone by part of Sunday morning for many blokes was a visit to Bob Cutchey’s greengrocery stall in his mum’s conservatory.

There was usually a rotating gathering of husbands with short shopping lists of vegetables for that weekend’s roast. When it came to your turn you’d point to cabbage or beans or whatever herself had specified to be greeted by Bob’s “You don’t want them” followed by him scuttling into his large brick shed and returning with a better example of the desired vegetable. Now Bob’s magic shed is a pile of rubble. But not forgotten!

AND AGAIN

It looks as if there will soon be a pedestrian crossing on Pratt Street serving the children of the Weatheralls sponsored in part by the town council, which means you.

While crossing the road with the number of shallow thinking, self obsessed idiots piloting vehicles these days the Weatheralls crossing must be relatively safe with the narrowing of the carriageway and the lollipop patrol.

Keeping the youngsters safe must always be a priority, of course, but there is a real need for another crossing to protect people nearing the other end of life’s journey. There are two bus stops on Hall Street that can serve the sheltered bungalows on Fox Wood South.

They are fine if you are going into town but not so good coming home. Hall Street is relatively wide and straight and an open invitation to inadvertently creep over the 30 mph mark.

Anyone who is less than fleet on their feet might find it a bit intimidating trying to cross as there is no crossing, not even a central refuge. Perhaps this could be considered the next time a crossing is mooted.

HAVE A WORD

If you are totally happy with the way things are going in Soham then this item is not for you. Oh, you’re still here, then!

There is a chance to have a word with a couple of our more active town councillors on Tuesday when they are holding surgeries in the pavilion. Councillors Rosemary Aitchison and Liz Johnston will be endeavouring to help in any way they can between 11am and 12.30pm. No appointment is needed, just turn up and have a word.