COLUMN: The Ely Grumpster on change and why new technology isn’t always better

PUBLISHED: 07:00 17 May 2018

The Ely Grumpster

The Ely Grumpster

Archant

• This week, I will be ruminating on change and where in my humble opinion, the passing of time has not improved our lot. Here are just a few examples:

• TV – 5000 channels, with 4998 of them serving no purpose other than to generate a flicker of activity in the brains of those who believe there is no life outside of multi-media. £80 a month to Sky to watch overpaid gloved softies throw themselves on the turf. Chuck another fifteen quid Rupert’s way and watch a past-it heavyweight kiss the canvas after 30 seconds. As a kid, it was a simple choice of 3 free channels, the Old Man laughed at On the Buses and the set would invariably break down at the most inopportune moments (like at the start of the 1966 World Cup final for example)? Ok, maybe not such great times.

• Cars – any fault these days requires a hook-up to what looks like a NASA space probe, plus a four figure bill. Need to replace a headlight bulb? No problem if you have the patience of Job and fingers the size of Thumbelina. I remember the days when driving behind our old Cortina meant being suffocated by a cloud of acrid black smoke and the space-ace door locking systems ensured the rust bucket you bought from Honest John would be pinched before you could say “big end gone”.

• Phones and computers - well what haven’t I said on this subject? Buffoons on trains yelling into their mobiles. Bosses who think it’s fine to call on a Sunday and a laptop that takes 2 hours to install OS updates when you need to get your cv away. I remember type-writers and phoning someone involved shoving a fistful of ten pence pieces into a pay phone in a booth that smelt of vomit. Happy days.

• Politicians. So much more fun in the early days. Dogs shot on Hampstead Heath, Tarzan waving the mace around his head, Alan Clark attempting to make a speech after a wine-tasting session. Nowadays, it is front page news if Corbyn picks his nose or Boris Johnson gets stuck on a zip wire. Bring back the characters!

• PS – decided to chance delivering my talk on the Wars of the Roses. One person walked out half way, two fell asleep and I exited the stage to a hail of boos and rotten fruit. Damn fine result.

• elygrumpster@gmail.com

0 comments

Welcome , please leave your message below.

Optional - JPG files only
Optional - MP3 files only
Optional - 3GP, AVI, MOV, MPG or WMV files
Comments

Please log in to leave a comment and share your views with other Ely Standard visitors.

We enable people to post comments with the aim of encouraging open debate.

Only people who register and sign up to our terms and conditions can post comments. These terms and conditions explain our house rules and legal guidelines.

Comments are not edited by Ely Standard staff prior to publication but may be automatically filtered.

If you have a complaint about a comment please contact us by clicking on the Report This Comment button next to the comment.

Not a member yet?

Register to create your own unique Ely Standard account for free.

Signing up is free, quick and easy and offers you the chance to add comments, personalise the site with local information picked just for you, and more.

Sign up now

More news stories

Yesterday, 19:24

Rotarians, scouts and the promise of a squad of 50 volunteer stewards will run this year’s Ely fireworks display on Cherry Hill – and the Ely Standard has agreed to be its print media partner.

Yesterday, 12:00

Fleet Street journalist Andrew Pierce was today the feeling the pangs of embarrassment after being hoodwinked by a satirical blog that falsely stated the UKIP flag was flown over Ely Cathedral.

46 minutes ago

• August is a funny time.

Yesterday, 15:28

Human bones have been found near a pathway in the cemetery of Chatteris Parish Church.

Most read stories

Most commented stories

Digital Edition

Image
Read the Ely Standard e-edition E-edition

Show Job Lists

Newsletter Sign Up

Ely Standard weekly newsletter
Sign up to receive our regular email newsletter

Our Privacy Policy