Pye gets the police gig, Tim’s in Twitter heaven, Harriadnie has a Monster of a job and now you see it, now you don’t

PUBLISHED: 14:10 27 July 2012

New shadow minister gets Loonies' vote. Model Harriadnie Beau has been made Official Monster Raving Loony Party shadow minister for beauty, glamour and culture by local party leader Lord Toby Jug.

New shadow minister gets Loonies' vote. Model Harriadnie Beau has been made Official Monster Raving Loony Party shadow minister for beauty, glamour and culture by local party leader Lord Toby Jug.

Archant

SO in the end John Pye got the Tory Party nomination for the upcoming Cambridgeshire gig to elect a £70,000 a year police commissioner.

Odd choice since Mr Pye is not a Conservative Party member, indeed he rejoiced in proclaiming his independence during his time as a member of the soon to be disbanded police authority.

I need hardly tire you with his impeccable credentials, suffice to record he’s a former Air Commodore who later spent 10 years as a board member of the British Antarctic Society.

Some ungallant Tories bemoaned to me they didn’t quite realise they were voting for an independent to become top dog at police HQ but at least we’re spared the alternative choice of the distressingly overwhelming and gushing Sir Graham Bright, a former Tory MP and Major aide.

As for Shona Johnstone, former Tory leader at Shire Hall, her remunerative prospects lessen in proportion to the rage of her county council leader Nick Clarke.

Not only has he campaigned to stop her winning the police nomination, he’s stripped her of Local Government Association membership and is now insisting she’s returned to the ranks labelled ‘damage goods- don’t touch’.

Also poor Shona I knew her well.

I GOT mildly excited when a call came through to reveal, allegedly, that Twiggy had walked out of an interview with the former Sky TV man Chris Mann, now happily ensconced in the tea time slot at BBC Radio Cambridgeshire.

The truth turned out to be less prosaic for it is true an interview got under way, down the line as they say in the business with Twiggy elsewhere whilst Chris sat in the Cambridge studio.

And the interview did end prematurely for technical faults and Twiggy did offer to resume but the BBC declined, feeling probably they had recorded sufficient of her endorsement of a new range of M & S products.

M&S was keen I ‘got the right end of the stick’ and telephoned an explanation after a few unpleasant tweets suggested something different and quite happily I offered to put the record straight.

HE won’t confirm it but I hear Fenland Council Leader Alan Melton gave his troops a rollicking for their handling of the application by the Money Shop to open in Wisbech.

The council is stuck with a hefty wedge of costs because some councillors delayed permission, arguing on moral and other grounds against the shop. Cllr Melton told them to stick within the law or else.

Trouble is Alan has mellowed since resuming the leadership after the Harper years and I’ve yet to work out what the ‘or else’ actually means.

HELPFUL survey from a sports supplement company tells me that “nearly a quarter of East Anglian married men would remove their beer bellies from their wedding day photos if they could rewind and have the day all over again.”

In the West Midlands biggest regret for the same percentage of men was their wedding day double chins.

NATIONWIDE also tried to interest me in a survey that suggests a quarter of people in the East of England “don’t feel they have a group of trusted people they can turn to for help” but I dispensed with them quicker than usual.

That’s mainly because Nationwide is closing its branch local to me at Mildenhall leaving me stranded and miles from anywhere with someone to trust with my cash.

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Picture: 8504SW712

WISBECH Town fans spent a large proportion of Saturday afternoon cheering, or so I’m told.

The Fenmen faithful toasted an emphatic 8-1 victory over their rivals March Town United in the BKD Cup.

But for our reporter in the stands there was no time for celebration – as this picture shows.

While capturing the action at the GER, photographer Steve Williams unwittingly caught sports scribe Rob Setchell (top right) at work.

As goals flew in – four in six second-half minutes to be precise – Rob (@RobSetchell) was desperately trying to keep those not present updated on Twitter. If Wisbech Town continue in this free-scoring vein, Rob’s mobile phone keypad is in for a long season

I FEEL a bit bad dobbing her in but since I performed something of what I consider a public service here goes.

The Bike Care shop in Wimblington Road, March put up a colourful Olympic themed window display around the idea of coloured tyres.

However given the predilection to prosecute such dangerous copyright infringements I sent along a researcher to point out the perils they might encounter from the Olympics ‘police’.

My chap reported that “Penny Hicks was looking after the store for her son Paul (the owner) and said she’d put the display up ‘because of the Olympics and because we are very proud of our riders.’

“When I asked her about whether the display would contravene LOCOG regulations and was she bothered about this, she said she didn’t want to get her son into trouble and asked that we do a photo with the coloured bike tyres taken down.”

I ask by what distance the world has gone truly mad.

I FEAST on her every new commercial endorsement. I look fondly at her many tweets inviting us mere humble Fen hacks and others to glimpse inside the world she now occupies.

Harriadnie Beau from Whittlesey has arrived.

But the lively 19 year-old has cast aside any suspicion of pretentiousness but agreeing to a most unusual, entertaining and, dare I say it, most unglamorous role.

Harriadnie has become, says local party leader Lord Toby Jug, the Official Monster Raving Loony Party shadow minister for beauty, glamour and culture.

Harriadnie said: “I don’t know a lot about politics but I am really excited to be involved with the party.”

Lord Toby, 46, said: “She was appointed because she is beautiful, glamorous and is very cultured as well as supporting the party.”

Harriadnie warmed to Lord Toby as he unveiled his manifesto for the St Ives Town Council by-election which included turning the Spanish fishing fleet into pleasure boats for St Ives, creating a UFO landing strip on Holt Island and putting lie detectors in council chambers.

Her endorsement clearly helped for although he lost he polled more votes than the Lib Dem candidate.

HE’S only been on Twitter a short time but I suspect the Rev Tim Alban Jones of Soham will quickly acquire a sizeable crop of followers.

“After Orange Wednesdays, the question is: what next? Banana Sundays?” he tweeted and oh how we laughed.

“On Radio 3: Handel’s ‘Jupiter in Argos’ is not about some divine, cut-price shopping spree!” was another mirth inducing 145 tweets.

One day this week he wrote his “thought for the day: man who eats many prunes gets good run for money” and you could hear the giggles from one end of Soham to the other.

And how many of us could tweet that we are “nearly at the end of baking 75 Welsh Cakes for tomorrow’s Annual Meeting of the Readers’ Board”

On April 24 he tweeted that “Tim Alban Jones has just entered the world of Twitter. It will be interesting to see what happens next.”

I, for one, can hardly wait.

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